ShalandaSays Cherish the Friends You Have

TWG Career Coaching: Resume After Military Service

ShalandaSays of TookesWilder Guidance is Back!

A few years ago, I decided to get back into the working world. The kids were getting older so I thought "why not?" I decided to turn away from all business ventures and work for "the man" as some people like to call it. I was no longer blogging, no longer offering relationship coaching, and no longer speaking. I eventually missed the ups and downs of being a business owner, but figured I'd enjoy a regular paycheck above all else. Boy, was I wrong!

The military began taking us from one place to another. I pursued work as a behavioral specialist for the autistic in Hawaii. I worked in retail in D.C. I volunteered for the Family Advocacy Program on Fort Gordon (GA) and landed my first human resources job while living in San Diego. Talk about your transitions.

Working in human resources as an administrative assistant and recruiter stirred up old desires of wanting to work more closely with people. I still had that desire to help people solve personal issues through gentle guidance, but saw the correlation between having a satisfying career and a happy personal life. 

Recruiting is a specialty I wanted to enter back in the 90s, but I never pursued it the way I did counseling. Recruiting was surprisingly more enjoyable than I expected it to be. It allowed me to get out of the stuffy (and sometimes a little too quiet) office and out into the fresh air. I enjoyed driving to career fairs with my music blaring, windows cracked, and company merchandise at my side to give away to job seekers. I would carry pens, mini flashlights, and anything else the company thought to put its logo on. Job seekers really seemed to enjoy the reusable bags. I must admit, I enjoyed the convenience of throwing job fliers in those bags and tossing them over my shoulder as I searched for a table to call home for the next 2 hours. 

I mostly enjoyed the networking, but wished to offer applicants more. Perhaps advice on how to impress the hiring manager and what not to say during interviews. I felt limited in my role like a bird with clipped wings.

Back at the office, I found myself visiting other departments and managers in the building to see what problems they needed to be solved. My brain was longing for more...exercise. So I asked my employer for full-time hours and more responsibilities. My position was originally intended to be part-time, but things change and you'll never know unless you ask. I was told that the board responsible for major decisions, like budgeting, wasn't meeting for another 3 months or so and even then there would be no guarantee that another full-timer would be justifiable. 

I took a look at my career map. For those who don't know, a career map, much like a career ladder, is a look at what you want your career to look in the future and the steps it would take to get to the ultimate goal. Being a military spouse and moving every year or so makes it that much harder to progress in any career. For me and my talent acquisition/recruiting career pursuit, it would take 2-5 years to make it to the next rung on my career ladder. Then another 5 years for the next promotion. I would be almost 60 years old before I had the required experience to be a director of talent acquisition. On top of that, I may not make more that $200,000 or even $5000,000 a year according to most job sites like glassdoor.com and bls.gov. I wasn't satisfied with there being a cap on my income potential. Even still, I began to look for another part-time job and even considered quitting and getting a full-time job. 

Around this time, a member of our human resources department was fired and a bulk of the extra work was given to my supervisor. She complained to me that she didn't like having this extra work load. Apparently, she never voiced this to her supervisor because during conference calls, when asked to do more tasks, she would simply say okay then roll her eyes and shake her head.

Her stress overload showed in the way she began to address me as well as other employees. So much to the point they complained to me about it. I found it embarrassing that another employee took notice of her disrespect towards me. My supervisor was nice enough during the beginning stages of my employment, though irritating at times like many supervisors. She was the type that would say, "I'm not a micromanager," but would stand right behind you, pointing at the screen saying, "click here, now click there," as if she was the only person in the room to have navigated through an inbox. I grew tired of her insults and rude comments when I would try to work through misunderstandings with her. Enough was enough and I ended up quitting.

I took a full-time, temporary recruiting job a few weeks later and was so thankful for the opportunity. Management actually asked us what we thought and worked through misunderstandings with the employees. I felt so at home and appreciated at this place. I was even offered regular employment towards the end of the temporary hiring project, but decided to go back into business for myself. I was not satisfied with the income potential of working for someone else. 

I have begun recruiting from home and love the freedom working from home brings. I have also started back coaching in which I blend my therapy background and recruiting background with career coaching. I have redesigned ShalandaSays from a website into an interactive vlog and podcast and am looking forward to reaching more people than before.

New post on friendship

View my new post and submit your questions to my new advice column. http://shalandasays.webs.com/

This week I addressed someone's concern about making new friends after old friends have gotten married and have less time to hang out. Read and comment then submit a question or more of your own.

Call for questions

Even before I became a professional counselor and relationship coach, I enjoyed talking to people about their problems and leaving them with the confidence that their secrets and private matters were safe with me. I noticed money was a big issue with people when I was counseling at an agency and again when I was running my relationship coaching business from home. I also noticed that the people who came to me for help already had a clue as to what they should do, but needed a little insight from an outside party. I am starting this site, not as a substitute for professional help, but to give people advice that will hopefully help them look within and find answers to their issues.

Engaged couples
Military and non-military couples
Career moms
Stay-at-home dads
Stay-at-home moms
Career moms in transition to stay-at-home mom status
Singles
Teens
Divorcees
and anyone else needing advice.

Submit your questions here 

Potty Training With Patience

Potty Training With Patience

Weight loss excitement

It's been a hot one. I've been in the mood lately for dresses and skirts because this summer has been pretty hot, in my opinion. I'm sure the air conditioner going out a few weeks ago has influenced my desire to wear the least amount of clothing as possible. Thank goodness it was fixed!
For me, "Ms. Modest", scantily clad seems to be a new trend this summer. Especially now that the numbers on the scale have been steadily dropping. As I lose weight I gain more confidence in the way I look and feel in my clothes.

It's funny how your mind works though. I am not used to going in my closet and have whatever I try on fit. Yesterday, was a celebration day as I put on a skirt I had previously been wearing every week because it was one of those "go to" items in my closet. Having worn sundresses and big tops for the past two months, I didn't realize I had dropped another pants size. I've gone from a 14 to a size 6 and couldn't be happier. I just want to say how excited I am to be back into my prepregnancy clothes.

I want to encourage anyone who is trying to reach a goal that seems to be full of setbacks. Weight is a big issue for so many people, especially in the U.S. where, according to the voice over on the new show "More to Love", the average woman wears at least a size 12. Whatever your goals in life may be I encourage you to write them down to make them more realistic and keep focused on your desired end result.

~Shalanda